3 ways to deal with #haters
We all have them. The critics. The “blamers” and “shamers”. The self appointed judges of your life. Let’s call them what they are - the haters. If you don’t have any then you probably haven’t lived long enough. So the better question is how do we deal with these haters?
You might need to come to terms with this; haters are gonna keep on hating. You will never satisfy them and you will never fix anything with them. Perhaps the best thing someone told me a little while back is that irrelevant of what you do with your life - there will always be someone who feels like they are owed more from you. There will always be someone who assumes the worst and believes that you are less than you are. It might be a slighted friend, a work colleague or an anonymous social media user.
Here are three thoughts I hope you will consider:
1. Do not respond.
One of the benefits of social media and and the internet is the ease in which it is possible to connect with people. It’s also a harmful disadvantage. Online bullying is real. As I speak in schools it is evident that online bullying is in the top 5 of challenges faced by students. It can also take place in the workplace and in your private life. The BEST advice anyone ever gave me was to not respond. And so I strongly recommend this to you.
2. Speak to someone.
When you are criticised or demeaned don’t try to deal with it yourself. The reason you have a community is to lean into the community when you are facing challenges. There is nothing quite like being criticised as it is a personal attack on who you are as a person most of the time. Open up and speak to trusted friends or counsellors about the attacks. More often than not they will be able to give you perspective and encouragement.
3. Know who you are.
People who criticise and hate on you most of the time don’t actually know you. They aren’t in your daily life or know anything about you. They assume, but, they don’t know. They don’t know what you work hard at or what your circumstances are. They may see a social media post but they don’t know that the post was taken 3 months earlier. Know who you are. Be confident in who you are and don’t allow others to derail your sense of self-worth.
Yes, haters are gonna keep on hating. Its really easy to block someone or delete an email. Just do it. You don’t need negativity in your life. You can’t make everyone happy and life is very short so don’t even try! You keep being the best version of you and enjoy the relationships around you that actually know who you are and accept you as you are.